Commitment: The Big Relationship Word

I never thought of commitment as being scary. I knew that I wasn’t at a point where I wanted to commit to one specific partner, but I knew that if I found an amazing person that I would love to have the opportunity to be with that person for a long time.

I wanted to consider commitment as an option when I was dating, but the guys that I was dating usually did not want to acknowledge it as an option for them. I wanted to feel important and valued as someone that could add to a relationship. I felt left out, deserted and abandoned in life because my value was not being acknowledged in the slightest.

I wasn’t seen as “relationship material” or “marriage material.” These were the vibes I was getting and most guys wanted everything to be casual so that if it didn’t work out, they could slip away.

Not all men are created equal.

I created my own tests and filters for guys when I was getting to know them so that I could see if their values and interests were in alignment with mine. I would question what they were doing. I would question why they chose to do certain jobs or activities in their lives. I looked for the main motivation or the main why in their lives.

My tests and filters were very unforgiving. I wasn’t getting many good guys that “passed.”

I released energy that did not serve me anymore in terms of energy that I had held onto myself and negative energy that had been directed at me from other guys just getting to know me. I understood that being on the same page and getting off on the right foot was a huge part of dating success. Knowing the values, traits and interests of your potential mate is integral to knowing if you would pair well with that person. I learned as much as I could to tell me if I should proceed or not in getting to know a guy.

I was hurt way too many times and wanted to make sure that only guys that were perfect for me would “qualify” to move ahead. I practiced self-love to stabilize my emotions when it was emotionally difficult for me. Commitment is a huge word in relation to dating and love with another person. Getting there started with a commitment to myself that I would make the best choices for me first.