How To Overcome A Loss Of Sex Drive In A Relationship

Sara Knick
3 min readOct 14, 2020

The initial excitement of being in a relationship is enough to cause desire of your partner sexually over the first few months and years. As time goes by, having a loss of sex drive is a common issue that can happen within a relationship. One partner can also desire sexual activity more than the other.

Men and women desire excitement and newness, but time can pass and we fall into routines that we become used to in our relationships. Because we have chosen one person to be with in a relationship, that factor remains the same and if we stop creating excitement through the types of activities that we engage in, we will start to feel that sex is a chore, become bored or feel a lack of desire or engagement with our partner. It may feel like we are trapped or unable to express ourselves sexually.

Illnesses, hormone changes, your state of mind and relationship issues all contribute to a low sex drive. If you are dealing with a serious medical issue or high stress, you will not feel resolve and sex will be the last thing on your mind. If you have an unresolved conflict with your partner, you will not want to connect with him or her because you have associated your partner with an undesirable feeling for a time. If you don’t feel sexy, the last thing you will want to do is engage in sex.

Resolve the conflicts that may arise so you have a baseline of trust and friendship to work off of with your partner. Create excitement and newness within your current relationship in what you choose to do to help inspire a desire for your partner. Set aside times that you can fully devote to your partner. It could vary from a whole day to an hour to a limited number of minutes. Seek to reach a new state of connectedness.

Once you’ve identified your turn-ons and fetishes, there is a world of possibility that opens up. You can explore with your partner using different props and going to different locations. Perhaps you want to massage each other and try different sexual positions. Perhaps you dedicate some time to planning a trip and talking about what would get you turned on during the trip. Searching for what makes you and your partner both excited and happy is the name of the game.

You may have different fetishes and turn-ons than your partner. Your partner may not understand why certain things turn you on and vice versa.