How Do You Get A Fiancé?

I did briefly mention in my first blog post that I am still with my fiancé when I posted my Love Manifestation story, but I wanted to tell you more of that story here…

I considered myself a good girl. I wasn’t out to do harm. I didn’t seek out anyone’s personal demise. I wasn’t out to seek revenge. I wasn’t a catfish.

I just wanted to have fun and be with a guy that was open and willing to have fun, too, but more in a long term sense. I desired a long term relationship.

I was constantly battling myself and the emotions that were in my head. It was about what I should be doing. I was also judging myself for why I was doing certain things. I also would have negative inner dialogue that would come out of nowhere. It could range from my thoughts about certain guys not contacting me back to how a certain cute guy would never actually love me the way I wanted even if we got to know each other.

I would look over my dating profiles and make sure that all of the wording was perfectly spelled and all of the alignment of the text looked good. I was really good in English and I got all As on my spelling. Presentation and design was important to me.

I felt fear regarding what my eventual future may hold. It felt as if everyone had already found someone and I was left behind. A feeling that was all too familiar back when I was growing up.

I would look for responses to my dating profiles in my inbox constantly. The kinds of responses weren’t the ones I wanted. Some messages were from creepy looking guys. Some were just extremely overtly sexual. A lot of the messages that were sent to me were boring like the guy just sent a “hi” or a “what are you up to?” I never felt compelled to respond to most of these messages that I was getting. I felt lost like the perfect guy for me wasn’t out there.

I realized that I should only respond back to messages that I absolutely 100% did want to get a response back from. This was a matter of finding love for me. I didn’t want to hurt other guys’ feelings, but there’s just no point in continuing a conversation when I have no interest.

When my fiancé’s first message came to me, I was interested immediately. It showed me that he actually paid attention to my profile and I did like his cool pictures. We were able to connect further and I found that he did have a quick wit that kept the conversation going.

I paid him special attention in our messages. We even talked on the phone and I was drawn more into meeting him. I was drawn to his very detailed, problem solving mentality. He paid attention and remembered things that I said, but he also was eager to come up with solutions. I decided to continue cultivating a relationship with him.

We lived about an hour away from each other at the time. For most people driving two hours to see somebody may seem like a major inconvenience. I, however, was excited that I was able to actually connect with someone that I enjoyed getting to know so it didn’t seem very difficult to do at all. We would still arrange for times to meet up in different locations… the mall, a restaurant, somewhere near where I lived. It was a give and take situation here… making it work and being flexible with our schedules as needed.

We learned more about each other and would make time for each other along the way. The excitement of finding each other was like a scavenger hunt and we would always have a good time where we were with what we had.

In the end, I felt important to him and this is what mattered. As long as I had that feeling of importance to him in the relationship, I believed that we would make it. And we did.