Awhile back I was getting to know a guy who lived in another state. We planned out photography meetups and vegan foods to make. We went to the lake beach and went to some local stores to shop. It was a fun time as much as it could be. I would be tired from driving a long ways, but it was still exciting.
I had wanted meetup arrangements to become easier, but I couldn’t change the fact that I wasn’t finding a lot of guys in my area that I was interested in. I spent a lot of time just driving and thinking. I enjoyed getting away from the area where I grew up. It held lots of painful memories for me because my mom had passed away and it felt like no one cared whether I stayed there or left. I would wonder if I would ever feel a normal life or some sort of stability.
The guy that I was seeing got disinterested and eventually blocked me. He wanted me out of his life for good.
I feel like there will always be strong signs if someone wants you out of their life. Maybe that person is going through something or has different goals in mind. It’s important to just let it go and move on. Holding on to something that no longer serves you is like swimming in the ocean being tied by a rope with a weight on the end of it… you go nowhere.
I continued to talk to other guys and get to know them. I looked for interesting conversations or something on their dating profiles that sparked my interest. I listened and got to know them as much as I could.
A lot of the guys that I wanted to get to know didn’t give me a chance to talk further or meet up. Sometimes I would give out too much information in the beginning of us talking and in their heads, I was labelled “damaged.” Other times they were just playing games and didn’t want anything serious. It seemed that the beginning of potential relationships were just ending because of my history and what I was going through.
I had to face that my history and who I was as a person was not going to change. I looked for a strong guy who had good character that was able to deal with me and what I was going through. I realize that there will be people out there only looking for people to suit their own needs and desires in the moment. A long lasting relationship was going to take looking for the right person that had the right motives.
I was willing to let the guy go that didn’t want to put forth any more effort into getting to know me. He didn’t see me as a priority in his life and he was showing me that. I continued to accept who I was and not sugarcoat that. I kept myself open to love and continued to talk to guys that I thought would be a good fit for me.