How Long Does It Take To Fall In Love?

When I was younger, I did not have a defined concept of romantic love or falling in love. I had issues with even getting attention enough to have someone listen to me back in my school days. I knew that speaking back then was not my strength. Real life was hard when I was younger, but it got even harder.

I wanted to get to know the guys online as best as I could, but I didn’t know how accurate they were being in their words and answers with me. I wanted to feel certain of someone, but I had no way of knowing until I got to the point of talking on the phone or meeting that guy in person. I felt let down when it wasn’t who I thought it would be. I felt at times that the guy was being honest with me, but the vibe and energy was off in person. I felt we weren’t connected a lot of the times. Other times, I felt really happy and open to having a good time with someone, but he didn’t like or accept me and I felt like he wanted to just end a conversation or not meet up with me again. I felt it was a larger struggle than I had anticipated. I dealt with depression, anxiety and all sorts of fear in letting guys “go” and having to start anew. It became a continual process.

With certain guys that I knew I wouldn’t be talking to again, I was glad to get them out of my way. There were other moments when I felt a possibility in love or that I liked certain things about the person and it was not a mutual connection… the guy didn’t like me back in the same way. There were times when I was quick to fall in love, but I kept logic as my stability. I didn’t want to be driven only by my emotions in decision making.

Falling in love is deeper than what meets the eye. It involves a continual process of understanding and getting to know someone that you want to end up being with.

I wasn’t quite all there with the falling in love part. I knew that to get there, I would have to find something about the other person that I liked to continue wanting to get to know him.

I kept having to get in touch with my own emotions about the situations that I encountered. A lot of times I would get too comfortable too quick about myself and then before I would know it, the guy would be gone. The lingering depression and anxiety I had over past situations made it difficult to think that anything would change for me in finding love.

I learned that if I didn’t move into getting to know a guy more, I shouldn’t take it personally. It was meant for us to not be together if he didn’t want to get to know me more. The online dating profile that I had was a reflection of myself and however it was responded to was not something that I could control. I couldn’t force anyone to fall in love with me. I kept a good head on my shoulders, a calm attitude and treated finding love as a process.

I cultivated the patience that I needed to endure the undesirable outcomes of the online dating world. I developed enough emotional strength to allow people that were not meant for me to leave out of my life. I still allowed myself to grieve over hurt feelings, but I continued to find new avenues of love and to be myself through it all.