Ask any couple that’s been married for ten years or more and they’ll tell you how important trust is in their relationship. In fact, trust is probably one of the most important aspects of any relationship.
If you need to establish or re-establish trust in your relationship, there are proven techniques you can use to make it happen.
Trust, in its simplest definition, is creating a place where another person feels emotionally safe. They know they can tell you their deepest secrets without fear that you’ll share them with others. They can be themselves with you and know that you’ll still love them.
For Couples in a Long Term Relationship
What can you do to build a more trusting relationship with your partner?
The answers may surprise you:
1. Make improving your communication skills one of your top priorities. Learn how to be a good listener.
• This means you don’t interrupt your partner while they’re talking unless there’s an emergency. Work extra hard at ensuring you understand what your partner has said.
2. Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements. Say, “I feel…” rather than “You make me feel…” This will help convey your feelings instead of attacking your partner.
• “You” statements are nearly always taken as a personal attack. This may not be your intent, but it’s almost always the result.
3. Act and speak positively about your partner, especially in front of other people. It’s easier to trust someone who speaks well of you. Conversely, if someone speaks about you in a nasty way, you’re likely to distrust them.
• If you have something negative to say, try to say at least five positive statements prior to making the negative statement.
4. Don’t go to bed angry. This may be one of the best pieces of advice for any married couple or people in a long-term relationship.
• Instead of going to bed upset and getting up the next day still angry, do whatever you can to resolve any issue that could strain your relationship. This means you’ll need to have good problem solving skills but they can be learned. It just takes practice.