How To Keep Your Relationship Exciting When You Start To Lose Interest In Your Partner

Fun and excitement are fleeting feelings. When you chose a partner in your life, it is important to understand what drew you to that person. Also, what was your life like before this person came into it? I was asked this question on Quora: “How do you keep your relationship exciting when you start losing interest in your partner?”

People want to feel good, but sometimes they may not realize that they may already be having their needs met already or they may have value being added to their lives with their partner already in it. We may tend to take for granted what we’ve had for a long time and want a change if we feel boredom, curiosity or stagnation.

You may not be in an unhealthy relationship or toxic relationship, but just feel a general sense of boredom or a lack of excitement from daily routines or the habits that have come about from the adaptation of your current relationship. A long term relationship has its challenges. It may feel like you are trapped with no “freedom.”

We can create fun and excitement in our lives in different ways. We shouldn’t have to rely on someone to provide entertainment for us all the time. It could have been that way in the beginning when we were just getting to know and date our partner. We wanted to show the best parts of ourselves and be interesting. We wanted to appear as the best choice for our partner in life. Remember what sparked your interest the first time you started dating that person. Where did you go? What did you do?

In being with your partner, you should think about the ways that he or she is adding value to your life and fulfilling your needs at the present moment. How can you both add to the wholeness of your relationship? Try new things… go to new restaurants, make new dishes at home, hang out at the beach or park, watch new shows together on the couch… designate quality time together apart from the mundane things that you have to do. Think of an activity that gets you excited and do that with your significant other… set aside the time and schedule it in to do it. Make plans on the calendar. Learn to differentiate all of the mundane work and chores from the quality time that you would like to spend together.

We may have time devoted to our life’s many tasks already. It may be difficult to schedule anything else in. We may have children to take care of. We may have school to go to. We may have a workout routine we need to stick to.

Seeking variety in the quality time with our partner can help to alleviate some of the boredom that we are experiencing. Also, planning ahead and scheduling special trips together even if it’s once a month can help to build up excitement in the relationship. It could be to somewhere local that you’ve always want to go to. How you relate to your partner could be switched up by sending surprise messages and pictures throughout the day to add spontaneity and excitement.

Understanding where the points in the relationship were when you were really drawn to each other and had fun and excitement helps you to understand why that person was special coming into your life. When life becomes a blur and we have to deal with the struggles and challenges that come with it, we can get in a place where we long for the past or what used to be. We have the ability to change and recreate ourselves and new practices at any moment.