Hundreds Of Deep Questions That Spark New Insight Into Your Partner

The more you know about your partner, the better understanding that you can have about why your partner reacts and does the things that he or she does. The Psychology Today website published an online article by Jeffrey Bernstein called “Understanding Is More Important Than Love” on November 6, 2010. In the article, it states the following: “The willingness to understand is very important. It is not always easy, but healthy love is strengthened by the willingness to understand. Love without understanding will wilt like flowers without water.”

People do their best with the information that they have, but sometimes they don’t realize that sometimes they don’t have all of the information or the whole story to make better judgments or decisions. If things do not turn out the way that you had expected, you may get down on yourself or feel stupid.

Perhaps there were experiences that you were unaware of that deeply traumatized your partner. Perhaps bringing up certain topics of conversation brings up negative emotions. You may be adding to a negative experience with your partner without even realizing it!

You have probably heard of the saying “ignorance is bliss.” I personally disagree with this saying. The more we understand about life and our circumstances, the more that we can know about what factors are influencing it and what changes can be made to improve it. I have never been grateful for not knowing more information. Carl Gustav Jung was quoted as saying “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

There are hundreds of questions out there that have been created to ask your partner. Some questions are fun. Some questions are thoughtful and meaningful. Some questions may trigger emotional responses that you weren’t expecting. The Thought Catalog website has a lovely article by Rania Naim updated on September 9, 2020 called “200 Deep Questions To Ask If You Really Want To Get To Know Someone.” Be open to the responses and answers that your partner gives you. Listen. Understand the person in front of you better.

Sometimes we aren’t in a good place to hear what someone wants to say or we flat out don’t want to listen. Sometimes we can misinterpret what the person is saying to us. One psychologist that I knew personally has said that if you say something, the other person can hear a totally different thing even though that wasn’t what you were meaning to say. Miscommunication happens and it can be super frustrating when the lines get crossed somewhere causing more arguments and fights.

Understanding ourselves and our partner and the “why”s behind our thoughts and actions as well as their thoughts and actions will help us establish a good foundation for appreciation and love. We will be better able to see the uniqueness in which we operate and value the relationship better.

We learn and grow everyday with new experiences and new perspectives. The answers to our questions may change over time. Past emotional experiences may have deeply impacted us. We should appreciate the fact that we can share ourselves with our partner and seek to understand what sets our partner apart from everybody else.

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Sara Knick

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