“I Want You”
I’ve heard these three little words off and on when I had been in the dating world: “I Want You.” Sometimes if a guy was feeling lustful, he would say it and I had not been particularly attracted to him to continue talking or seeing him. The energy was too much. Sometimes if a guy didn’t know me well enough, I felt that he would say it just to amp up sexual tension.
People can get caught up in sexual tension and lust. They can forget reasons of why they wanted to pursue a serious relationship if that’s what they wanted in the first place. They may be at a low place and then instantly feel desired, which compels them to fall into what the other person wants to do even if it hadn’t been what he or she originally wanted. If you are in a place of depression and hopelessness, it is easier to gravitate towards something that you think would take you out of that emotionally dark place.
Being at a low point in your life or in an emotional dark place sets the stage for accepting new propositions or opportunities that you may not have agreed to before. If you are trying to get out of something or stop feeling a certain way, you may do things that you hadn’t done before. If you don’t have a strong enough internal compass or have it defined on what you are looking for, you may acquiesce to other ideas brought forth just to get someone to like you or desire you… there is no guarantee it will turn out in your favor because the other person is dictating it.
I agree with the Quora response on “What’s the meaning of I want you?” It talks about an indication for the desire to possess. In reality, you can never truly possess somebody. Wanting is different than loving. In wanting someone, you are admitting that you do not “have” that person and are hinting at having them do things for you. In loving someone, you use acceptance for who that person is and do not have expectations for how they should be around you.
Life should be a flow. Allow people to accept or reject you. Don’t allow rejection to ruin your life. Allow yourself to have fun. Remember your original goals and what you wanted from love, dating and relationships. If there isn’t alignment in what you and the other person ultimately want, let it go and don’t put copious amounts of effort into it. The amount of continuous effort that may be expected may be too much to give in the end.
Dealing with someone who wants you may be hot, but may deter you from your original love goals if you continue to choose fulfillment of someone’s sexual needs instead of being loved in a pure way. You may find yourself conforming to someone’s desires consistently and creating distance with what you ultimately want.
Wanting points to having and having means possession and possession means attachment. I love what I had found in relation to Buddhism and what they believe about attachment when I searched on the Yahoo! search engine. The elephant journal website helps to clear some things up for us. “In Buddhism, attachment and desire are often the root causes of our misery. While we usually think of desires as sensual, like sex and drugs, desire can refer to all sorts of cravings: material things, freedom, people, stability, the past, fulfillment, sex, happiness, and so on. The list of our cravings is endless.” When we are attached to other people or things outside of us, it means that we have not yet accepted what is within us and are still searching for gratification and feelings to be received from exterior places.
Let’s keep in mind that love isn’t perfect. If you desire an authentic connection with someone, that person should show you in various ways that he or she can gain your trust and that he or she can care for you. Lust is fun at times, but it is not the basis for a long lasting connection. Someone that wants you to continually fulfill their sexual desires will get old very quick. Let someone get to know you on all different levels and see how that person responds. If he or she is not willing to get to know you like that, ask the question… is this really worth my time and effort?
