Is He Cheating On Me?

Let me tell you a story…

I remember when I was in the hallways at school that girls would try to talk about what they thought would be happening with guys. Girls would try to answer questions amongst themselves about what was happening and what the guys were thinking. It seemed to be a sort of mechanism for security and comfort.

The girls wanted to be seen as special and in the right social status. Which guy liked you meant how cool you were. They wanted to have “a step up” and “be ahead” in the perceived social tiers at school, but they were still uncertain of where they stood. They wanted to get rid of the anxiety and uncertainty of the feeling that they were not accepted by their peers.

The guys that these girls thought were hot, cute and that were put on a pedestal were only judged superficially. The whole perceived social tier system was based on outward appearances and what was seen on surface level… achievements, looks, what you had, etc.

I did not fall into this trap at that time. I invested my time in knowledge and endeavors that seemed worthwhile to me. I gained peace and clarity from reading, understanding ideas and listening to music.

While the girls at school would try to find ways to get the attention of certain “worthy” guys and were preoccupied daily with whatever was being planned behind the scenes, I was escaping this social tier system through studying and learning. I devoted myself to ignoring the superficial chatter of surface level subjects.

These girls were misdirected and focused on the wrong goals. They liked to engage in gossip for their own need of safety to figure out who belonged where in the perceived social hierarchy at school. It seemed to be a constant battle to find safety within an ever-changing environment.

Cheating is a form of lying. Sometimes we lie to ourselves. Sometimes we lie to other people. We just have to be focused on the right things in our lives. If we focus on the truth and honesty in our own personal life, we will allow that energy to come forward easier. We guide ourselves and who we choose in a relationship should complement us.

I knew that when I encountered something that didn’t feel right, I wasn’t going to be a part of it. I knew that these girls in school were misguided. When I met a guy, I felt repelled from his energy if it was focused on the wrong things. I would trust myself. I wouldn’t question my feelings and leave it up to debate from other people. In this way, I formed a strong identity and knew that I was trying to find someone to complement this identity.