NUDES: To Send Or Not To Send?!
Having the options of multiple online dating apps and websites as well as multiple ways to connect with people online leaves people with many options and possibilities for connection. Humans are humans. Sometimes lust takes over and we may want to connect lustfully… perhaps through nudes!
People want connection overall, but want to know everything right up front to then decide whether they should move on or continue talking and knowing more. It is almost as if people have become disposable in this technological world. Being treated in a way where we get ghosted or are no longer “of use” in a particular way to someone that we are learning about because we are not complying with a demand can be heartbreaking. If we don’t “send nudes” or show enough of ourselves to then be judged, the person may just move on to someone else anyways if they aren’t attracted or interested anymore. What happened to the allure of mystery? People are dealing with depression and anxiety harder than they ever have before because of this judgment culture in which we reveal everything about ourselves physically and then the person on the other end either deems us “attractive” enough to keep talking or moves on!
According to the GQ magazine website, 59% of people ages 55 years of age and older disagree that sending nudes is the new normal. Between the ages of 16 and 24, there are 40% that agree that sending nudes is the new normal. There is an obvious disconnect with these numbers in the new generation coming forth.
Patience and understanding is important for the basis of any relationship. Someone can change the way that they look and become healthier or prettier. Someone can also change the way that they look in reverse and become less healthier over time and less attractive. If you send nudes to someone, those nudes are snapshots of your body at a specific time in your life, but it is only lust based.
Whether you choose to send nudes or not, enter the game of nudes at your own risk. Someone that will value you for what you have to give to the world in terms of your education, experience, skills and personality will try to learn more about those things from you. Find a healthy balance between attractiveness and commonalities.
Being in this age of “nudes” and knowing that this new generation coming through feels that sending nudes is normal, will people be treated more in a disposable way? If you don’t satiate someone’s desires instantly, will you be continually cast aside in the dating world? According to dosomething.org, the forth fact from “11 Facts About Sexting” states that nearly 40% of all teenagers have posted or sent sexually suggestive messages, but this practice is more common among boys than girls. The third fact stated that while nearly 70% of teen boys and girls who sext do so with their girlfriend or boyfriend, 61% of all sexters who have sent nude images admit that they were pressured to do it at least once.
You can’t show everything in a nude. You can’t take a snapshot of your personality, experience, skills and education and send it like a sexy, alluring photo. Sometimes the hottest picture may even misrepresent someone. There are people that are lust driven and if they only focus on physical attractiveness, they will miss the completeness of what a well rounded relationship can offer by learning more about someone.
In learning about someone, consider attractiveness as one aspect of a partner. It is just one aspect. If someone is hot, but they have severe issues with respect and can’t be trustworthy in a relationship, is it worth it? Probably not. Not to say that all attractive people have issues, but notice what else is there and what you can build on.
