Should You Be Dating?
I’ve experienced a lot of life’s ups and downs. When I devote my time and energy to a task or a goal, I’m all in. If I want to achieve something, I do it. My mindset in the dating world is what set me apart from other women.
I wanted to show that I was different from the rest of the women out there, but a lot of my differences made me unrelatable. I felt defeated at times when I saw couples together that seemed to not have a care in the world. I felt alone and isolated when I saw women having an easier time than me dating in public.
I felt like I wasn’t getting the results that I wanted even though I felt like my heart was in the right place and I promoted myself on different dating apps.
I had to go inward and check in on myself. I had to do something that I enjoyed. Dating was starting to feel like a job.
I hung out with a guy with no particular outcome in mind… just hanging out and seeing what happened. I planned the next day to go to an amusement park by myself. Rollercoasters, lots of rides… right near the water. It was the same place I had gone to with my mom, my dad and my sister when I was a kid. It was also part of my 8th grade trip. I would have free reign this time to do as I pleased. No one telling me where to go or what to do.
Over and over when I would get to the ride, the ride operator asked, “How many?” Over and over, I would have to repeat, “One.” After the day was done, so many questions rushed to my head about why I was single still and what was holding me back. I thought again that maybe I wasn’t good enough. I kept having to acknowledge that I was single over and over again. “One.” “One.” “One.” It left me with a horrible feeling of isolation when all I wanted to do was feel empowered again.
I did have a great time. I created the kind of experience that I wanted to have that day. I had fun. I did enjoy myself.
When I felt defeated, I moved myself into a place where I felt more empowered. I did something for myself. I had to realize that some people don’t care as much as we think about the lives that we live or the whys involved. I tend to be a deep thinker and naturally gravitate towards wanting to answer questions that I have invented. The important part of my amusement park day was letting go and feeling good and I did just that.
