Stubbornness: The Impact On Relationships

Sara Knick
3 min readOct 29, 2020

I’ve dealt with a lot of stubborn people in my life. They did not want to change either their mindset or actions. In my own love life, I’ve dealt with people that I was dating that had viewpoints that were not all encompassing. I find that dealing with people who are unable to change themselves or do not want to change themselves have limited possibilities available to them.

People may want the best for their partners, but if their partners resist a much needed change in their own lives, “the best” may stay out of reach. Those that are dealing with their stubborn partners may feel hopeless, a lack of connection, frustration and despair.

Stubborn partners may have a persistent need to feel in control and act based on their own wants and needs dismissing their other partner’s wants and needs, which sets the relationship off-kilter.

Stubborn partners may behave and act based on a need to consistently be right, which is linked to the ego. When we are dealing with someone who dislikes change or changing themselves, we will find ourselves having a very difficult time making change in our own lives because we are dealing with them on a very intimate, personal level and that will ultimately affect us.

There are levels to being stubborn. Someone may be stubborn about certain things that they want done. Someone may be holding onto certain beliefs or ideas that are driving him or her to reject what you want to do. Whatever the case, if you feel that your relationship is becoming lackluster or unmanageable, ask more questions to your partner to try to understand the basis of why he or she believes the way that he or she does. It may be irrational or not make sense. The idea is to be open to the ideas, beliefs or thoughts that are currently there existing with your partner.

If someone is so stubborn that there is a lack of consideration to your wants and needs, this is a red flag and an indicator that your partner may be out to serve himself or herself. It is one thing to hold onto certain idiosyncrasies, but if one partner expects the other person to follow blindly and to never ask questions…

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