Valentine’s Day: A Reflection About This Holiday Growing Up

Growing up, I loved getting Valentines in class. I loved the anticipation of the day where we would go to class and exchange small cards and candy seeing what we would get. It was enforced by my school that everyone had to give something to everyone in the class. It was an all inclusive activity. Getting older, kids would have their friends or favorite people that they would exchange gifts to. I usually wouldn’t get a lot as the years rolled on into middle school. In high school, there was a Valentine flower exchange. I remember getting a bunch of flowers and I was so surprised about getting them! It was one of the few times where I felt appreciated and loved by my peers. My mom would get gifts together for me and my sister on Valentine’s Day growing up, too.

I wanted to feel loved. When this holiday came around at certain points when I was single, I was reminded at how unloved I felt. I would fixate upon my insecurities and fears. I felt depressed and angry at the lack of acknowledgement by others for how I felt.

After the death of my mom in 2011, whenever I was surrounded in stores with Valentine’s Day gifts and candy, I would start to be reminded about how I didn’t have my mom around anymore. My depression and feeling of isolation would intensify since I had been single for the majority of my twenties.