What Do You Want To Achieve In Love?

Over the years I’ve talked to many men and women that have varying opinions and viewpoints on love. One woman told me “love is blind.” One man said that “women will just take all that you’ve got.” I’ve learned that beliefs are powerful and that they can determine the end result of your love future.

Men and women ultimately want to be loved and appreciated for the people that they are. Sometimes they let personal hang-ups interfere in a healthy relationship, their goals in love are not clarified or they just genuinely do not know what to do about getting what they want. When self worth and self esteem are not at a stable high level, the man or woman can continually question himself or herself in the relationship. This can lead to other problems, but underlying all of this is a need to feel like he or she has a high self worth. A lot of times this need has not been met or even recognized as a need.

If a man or a woman feel like they have failed to entice a lover or a mate, they can feel less attractive or valued. If they show their love and it hasn’t been returned, they can feel hopeless, depressed or embarrassed.

There’s a healthy balance that we need to attain in love. We need to recognize our needs and meet those needs in a healthy way. With our partner, we need to recognize his or her needs and meet those needs as well. There is a lovely article that I came across entitled, “The Importance of Appreciation in a Relationship” from the HuffPost website. It recognizes the 3 A’s for a healthy relationship: Acceptance, Appreciation, Acknowledgement.

Acceptance of a person for who they are in terms of personality, looks and tendencies is paramount to a successful relationship. Appreciation for the little, medium and big things that your partner does in a relationship guarantees that they continue to contribute to the relationship. Acknowledgement for who your partner is or what he or she does will ensure that person is made to feel special and create an energy of love automatically.

I’ve noticed that there are men and women that are in denial of who they are dealing with in their relationships and who eagerly want to change parts of their mates. The process of change occurs within. You cannot externally impose ideas or restrictions to bring about a genuine change.

Being in the energy of openness and honesty will bring about the change desired in someone’s goals in love as well as in daily life. If someone is wanting to secure a relationship or if a better quality relationship is desired, finding acceptance, feeling appreciation and using acknowledgement will help deepen the bond of what is there.

Understanding our beliefs in love and our perceived failures will help guide us to asking the right questions to free us from beliefs that don’t serve us and to involve ourselves in a worthwhile relationship. Do you really believe what you are telling yourself? Where are your beliefs in love coming from? What did you learn from a relationship that ended? Being able to adjust our viewpoint with understanding will lead us to more success in love in the future.