What Happens If You Never Find Love?

Let me tell you a story…

There was a point a long time ago when I was ten years old. I was younger and not sure of what would happen in the future. I only had dreams and ideas of what may happen.

I desired to find happiness and joy in the moments of each day. I didn’t want to be concerned with adult problems, but I knew that one day I would have to. I felt uncertain of what would happen in my life. Everything was very open as far as possibilities and choices. I feared that bad things would happen if I wasn’t smart enough to handle problems and issues that would come up later in life.

In eighth grade, the 9/11 attacks happened. We were told in our classroom of the events that transpired in New York City. Then when I went home later on, there were video clips and footage repeatedly playing over and over again on the television. I felt like this was a horrific event and no matter how smart I was, I would have no control over anything bad happening to me in the future if I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I eventually became smarter and more in tune with what was happening around me.

I made more and more decisions about the people I hung out with, the places I wanted to go and the activities that I did to fill my time. I learned to trust myself. I felt that if I knew my goal and what my outcome wanted to be that I would get there.

I would have people that I did not wholeheartedly trust try to persuade me into doing things that I felt were one-sided and more beneficial for them. I still had to learn how to let them down without hurting their feelings or causing conflict. One of the things I had aversions to was conflict.

In the end, I did learn how to find love that was not one-sided and that was beneficial for me. I learned that I did not have to sacrifice myself to get love.

Even when I had not experienced something in real life yet, I still had dreams and ideas of what I wanted. When I didn’t feel quite right about what was happening around me, I wouldn’t just accept what was happening. I would continue to trust myself and what I wanted and why.