“What Is Your Definition Of A Normal Relationship?”

I grew comfortable with the idea of not being normal at a very young age. I grew up as one of the tallest girls in my class having to stand in the very last row for pictures. I also wore glasses up through my teens. I was not the first to be picked for projects or activities in class. The idea of being “the loser” weighed heavy on my soul.

I wanted to be normal, to be accepted and to be loved, but I was visibly different and not seen as attractive, sexy or cute by society’s standards growing up. So much time had already gone by growing up that I could never recover it. I felt uncomfortable and alone knowing that I was not accepted by my classmates for who I was.

Because I had grown up not feeling normal or having normal experiences, I had no idea what a normal relationship looked like in love.

I had to understand that there is no normal. Normal can be seen as the average range of experiences the human species can have, but in reality, no one person has the same life as any other person. If we are to imagine all of one human’s experiences that are packed into his or her days, weeks and months and compare that to another human’s experiences, it would look totally different because we are all unique.

The idea and feeling of being comfortable in who I am and what I am doing is what my focus has become. I’m comfortable with having a range of different experiences, some going out of my comfort zone, which may not look normal to someone else. My normal has become getting nearer to the feeling of stability, but also making room for adventure.

I get people that question my motives or my life choices. Many women have asked me why I do not have children or suggest that I have children. I am not comfortable with making a commitment to that decision. There’s other people that still give me suggestions on what I should be doing in my life.

In answering “What Is Your Definition Of A Normal Relationship?” on Quora, I answered with the following response: “There is no such thing as a normal relationship. Each person in the relationship has their own set of skills, talents, struggles, energy and beliefs that contributes to the functionality of the overall whole relationship. What works for the relationship is something that the couple agrees on with rules and boundaries that help promote the well-being of both partners.”

In my experience with relationships, you should strive for a healthy and functional relationship, which means healthy and functional individuals are involved in that relationship. To be healthy mentally, emotionally and physically allows us a higher chance to be functional and achieve happiness within a relationship.