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What Will You Do When Your Partner Gaslights You?

Sara Knick
3 min readApr 14, 2021

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Photo by Tandem X Visuals on Unsplash.

If you’re a fan of old movies, you’re already familiar with the concept of gaslighting. It was the title of at least two classic films about a husband who tries to trick his wife into thinking she’s delusional.

More recently, it made the short list for Oxford’s Dictionary Word of the Year 2018, thanks to public dissatisfaction with politicians who stretch the truth.

Unlike the movie couples, your partner probably isn’t trying to have you committed so he can cover up the fact that he murdered your aunt. However, gaslighting can still harm your relationship and self-esteem.

How can you protect yourself if you feel like you’re being undermined?

Try these suggestions for steps to take by yourself and with your partner to change the way you communicate.

Steps To Take By Yourself:

1. Spot the signs. Gaslighting can involve many different kinds of behavior. Your partner may make false accusations or tell you that you’re overreacting. They may distort reality and challenge your faith in yourself.

2. Accept your feelings. It’s important to remember that your emotions are natural and valid, especially if your partner tends to dismiss them. Practice observing and identifying your feelings without making judgements.

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Sara Knick
Sara Knick

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