What’s Considered Dating Someone?

I have been in different relationships in which labels were used and labels weren’t used. I understood that some of the guys were unsure if they even wanted to commit to a relationship. Getting to know someone in the most genuine way possible is what I focused on.

I desired to feel comfortable in knowing what was going to happen next, but there was really no certainty on the long lasting component of a relationship because we would be discovering things as we went. I felt that I had to be understanding in regards to how a guy wanted to define our relationship. I did feel confused and under appreciated when the guy didn’t want to spend more time with me or be in a relationship with me straight away.

There was a point when at the beginning of dating a certain guy that I knew he was putting effort into a relationship with me. Things weren’t perfect, but there were plans and meaningful moments. Then, he switched gears and started telling me that he didn’t want a relationship, etc. I felt like I was dating up until this point, but he started being fearful of using the term “dating” or other terms linked to “dating” and gave me a clear sign that things were not serious anymore or heading in a stable direction.

Dating will be a unique experience. It’s the time you spend with each other. It’s the feelings you have to pursue the relationship. It’s a combination of different factors that compel you to move forward.

I didn’t focus on labels or putting pressure on the guy to do something that only I wanted. I focused on feeling and seeing what it would be like when he initiated action towards me. Dating in the past was all very different. Most of the time the term “dating” wasn’t used, but myself and the guy would be getting to know each other one on one… that is what dating is.

Sometimes I felt like the guys held back and didn’t say things that they wanted to say. They also opened up to me about past struggles in their previous relationships and other vulnerabilities regarding relationships. I felt that I had no control over these past events and just wanted to help them, but I wasn’t their counsellor, I was a potential partner.

I learned to focus on my emotions and how I felt spending time with a guy. This is what mattered. How was the guy responding to me? How did I feel things were going? Did I want to continue spending time with this guy?

I was patient and understood that each person had their hang-ups. Choosing a partner is a very big decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly… this was on my side as well as the other side. I couldn’t “cure” the guy I was dating. Throughout my time in the dating world, I took a carefree, fun approach to dating and this served me well. I enjoyed the variety of dates and the moments that I spent with those who chose to make me a priority.