Why Is He Not Calling You Back?

After my breakup five years ago, I was confused and lost. I felt like I had been left for the wolves. It was something that hit me so hard when I realized that the guy that I had opened up to about my life had rejected me and didn’t care about how I felt anymore.

I desired for him to call me back and tell me that it was all a mistake. I wanted the connection that I had invested my time and energy into, but he obviously did not want to be with me anymore. The phone never rang. There were no more voicemails or text messages. I felt like I was in hell. I felt like I was waiting for something to happen. Nothing felt inspiring.

I fixated on the time that I wasted over the months. My mind was unfocused and empty. Questions kept flooding my mind. Why was I not getting contacted by my ex? Didn’t he realize he made a mistake?

I couldn’t live this way anymore. I needed to feel like I had a life again.

I came to a point where I had waited so long for any glimpse of hope that I had to accept that the relationship was over. I needed to fill my time though. I listened to motivational videos on YouTube, went to the beach, planned outings when I had time, completed tasks on my to-do lists, did photography and got back into online dating.

I would analyze myself and think of why he left me and why I wasn’t good enough. I would find myself in my mental prison again with endless questioning as my punishment. I was trying to deal with coming off of a high of being in an exciting, fun relationship.

I learned to bring myself out of this very low point in my life. I learned to let go and transform my life again into something that was more engaging and filled with possibility again. I gained the skill of allowing transformation to happen. I didn’t get stuck at the low point.

I was able to come out of something that I had no idea in the beginning how I was going to since I hadn’t been there before. I went from confused and dazed to gaining more clarity of my path in life.