Why The Pickup Artist Is My Enemy

I’ve always been taught to tell the truth growing up. My mom was disappointed in me when I didn’t. I grew up learning about God and how to treat others with respect and integrity. I went to Catholic school from Kindergarten on up into Junior year of high school.

Later on in my life, in my twenties, when I was dating one particular guy, it lasted about half of a year. I wanted to hang out and do exciting things and meet up with him whenever I got a chance. I felt great hanging out, but I had no certainty on where we were going in the relationship. He wasn’t using terms that other guys had used to describe their dating situations. He really didn’t use any terms at all. He just called me “Sara” and didn’t use the word “girlfriend” or anything exclusive to show that he wanted to be with me. I felt confused and lost inside. I didn’t want to make a big deal about it.

He mentioned someone on his Facebook that was his friend. I looked into it. He had a website and a schedule of workshops. There were professional photos of him posing. There were posts about what a playboy is. There were also videos of him talking about seduction, being cool, saying what you mean and coaching other male students about women. In my head I’m thinking that whatever this guy has learned… he’s using it on me. I felt cheated and used in a way. Yes, this guy did open up to me. He did also tell me that he had been to Europe and worked with this guy on training and coaching. I just felt uncertain now with this new information. I felt like I was being lured into things without my knowledge and I immediately had part of my guard up.

I felt that the guy that I had been dating was denying parts of himself just to impress me or get his way now. There were times when I felt like he was acting and then there were times when I felt that he was acting genuine. It was difficult to feel like he was just being genuine with me the whole time that we were together.

I stuck to being genuine, authentic and real throughout our time together. I told him about my personal struggles and my past. I laid out everything on the table in terms of what I’ve been through, my goals, my passions and my desires.

I’m a deep thinker. You can’t get much past me. I’ve gotten comments from other people like “You think too much” or “You’re overthinking it.” I think being with me became extremely uncomfortable for him because I was real. I wasn’t an actress. He wanted to stay in the superficial zone because it was safer and less emotionally involved.

I look back to this man that taught and coached the person that I was dating. This man, whatever suave name he may be called, helped to create illusions in my love life through this man that I was dating and this is why he is my enemy. When I look at his current statuses on social media, his engagement is lacking. He has under 400 subscribers on his YouTube channel. He has no upcoming workshop events. The last video postings that he had happened two years ago. My current Facebook profile picture has 80 likes and 21 comments. His personal photos look to be getting around 1 like or 4 likes. His current Facebook personal profile photo has 19 likes and 1 comment. This shows me that something happened. Did this pickup artist have a change of heart, find a new direction and became less engaged in his original mission? Does he have guilt about what he was teaching? His current profile photo shows his back to the camera facing the sun. Maybe he did find a new direction in life and doesn’t know how to voice it.

From the way I see it, I spent six months of my life with a man that led me on and wasn’t sure of himself and was covering up his lack of confidence with acting. I wanted something real, reliable and genuine. I wanted to date a person and not an actor. I wanted someone dynamic like me, not someone who had a hidden agenda to lure me into their traps. When he didn’t want to see me anymore, I was devastated, but I also realized that there was no defined path anyways. My experience in this relationship was one of excitement, confusion and passion. What if I had gotten to know the guy that I was dating without this pickup artist? I learned that the right knowledge is power. Personal truth can never be covered up. Beliefs are powerful. It was my deep understanding of personal truth and spiritual beliefs that helped me get through this odd, complex labyrinth of love.